Radio KAOS
Directed by Willie Smax
Post-Production Direction by Nick Thompson
Columbia Music Video, 1988 (VHS, Laserdisc)

By all accounts, the only way in which 'Radio KAOS,' made *any* kind of sense (or at least allowed one to suspend disbelief in its laughable storyline) was when it was experienced in the form of a live concert. Fleshed out with additional songs not included on the album (mixed up with some specially recast Pink Floyd fave raves spanning 1973-1983), the 'Radio KAOS' tour converted Waters' harebrained concept to rock theater in a fashion that was at least palatable to the three dozen or so people who attended each show.

With that said, the following question must be asked -- why does this 'short form video EP' suck like a high-powered shop vac, then? Well, three reasons come to mind...

1. There is no live material on this video. Oh, OK, there might be 15 seconds worth after "Four Minutes" (well, no ... 10 sounds like a more realistic guess).

2. Instead of illustrating important points in the story of the album, and thus making the whole story easier to swallow, the 'Radio KAOS' video EP plays like a vaguely homoerotic travel ad for Los Angeles.

3. At one point in the video, Jim Ladd says "welcome to the machine." The film for that song, of course, does not follow. Bastards. The inclusion of that film clip could have made the entire experience worthwhile right then and there. But nooooooo....

To start us off, the whole storyline of 'Radio KAOS' is scrolls up the screen before the video even starts, which immediately starts the viewer off on the wrong foot. For those not familiar with quite possibly the most ridiculous idea in the long, storied history of concept albums, an adapted version of the 'Radio KAOS' backstory follows...

"BILLY IS CONFINED TO A WHEELCHAIR."

OK. No problems there.

"BILLY HEARS RADIO WAVES IN HIS HEAD."

Hm. Yah, OK. I guess this can happen with the right amount of dental
work.

"BILLY MOVES TO LOS ANGELES TO LIVE WITH HIS UNCLE DAVE AFTER HIS
BROTHER (BENNY) IS ARRESTED."

Bummer. Ah well. At least it wasn't Detroit.

"USING A SPEECH SYNTHESIZER SOMEHOW BUILT INTO HIS PHONE OR SOME SUCH
(AND DESPITE SPEAKING IN AN UNINTELLIGIBLY DISTORTED MONOTONE), BILLY
BEFRIENDS JIM LADD. LADD, YOU SEE, IS A MAVERICK DJ AT RADIO KAOS -- A
MASS-MARKET ROCK RADIO STATION FIGHTING A LONE REAR-GUARD ACTION
AGAINST CORPORATE CONTROL OF THE AIRWAVES."

Huh huh huh -- they said "rear-guard."

"OH, BY THE WAY - BILLY CAN HACK HIS WAY INTO ANY COMPUTER SYSTEM ON
THE PLANET."

"He's an 3l33+ h4x0r / There has to be a trick / That 3l33t h4x0r has
such a supple wriiiiist!"

"BILLY HATES THE MARKET FORCES. A LOT. SO MUCH SO, IN FACT, THAT HE
DECIDES TO SIMULATE WORLD WAR III ON AN UNSUSPECTING WORLD POPULATION
IN ORDER TO SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE."

Egad. Not very sporting of the guy, is it?

"HOWEVER, INSTEAD OF DESTROYING THE PLANET, OR AT LEAST THE MARKET
FORCES PART OF IT, BILLY CUTS ALL THE POWER AND THE WORLD FALLS SILENT
AND DARK."

Jeez. Asshole.

"IN THE AFTERMATH OF ALL OF THIS, BILLY FEELS THAT DESPITE ALL OF THE
EVIL MARKET FORCES CONTROLLING THE EARTH AND THUS DEPRIVING OURSELVES
OF ANY SEMBLANCE OF SOUL AND SPIRTUALITY, THE TIDE IS SOMEHOW TURNING
IN THE FAVOR OF THE INDIVIDUAL (ESPECIALLY AFTER THE CROWDS AT THE
LIVE-AID CONCERTS MANAGED TO SEIZE CONTROL OF TECHNOLOGY AWAY FROM
THEIR UNFEELING WARMONGERING DIABOLICAL MEANIE LEADERS)."

...

/ping reality

Now, the fact that the four promo clips that follow this little setup do not serve to illustrate *any* of above plot points doesn't make the going any easier. Where the hell is Billy? It's rather ominous that we see *far* more of Jim Ladd, Roger Waters, and the so-called "Bleeding Heart Band" (kewl! I never knew Michael Biehn played drums!) than we do of poor spastic Billy during "Radio Waves." The same goes for "Sunset Strip," where our invalid hero is seen almost entirely in silhouette - instead, we're given of close-in shots of Uncle Dave's Great Dane and some monkey-toting gawth chyk's black-clad ass.

As for Waters, he spends his entire time onscreen wearing a horrible Hawaiian shirt and ever-present headphones while seated before a studio mic (which he sings into like he's trying to kiss it) while lycra-clad woo-woo chyx Katie Kissoon and Doreen Chanter gyrate in sensuous slow-mo behind him. Ah, almost forgot -- we do get a brief cutaway to dear ol' Rog in a cop uniform (and looking quite at home in it, I might add) singing "the local police calling all cars" into his CB radio. As they used to say in the old Ginsu knives commercials: "*now* how much would you pay?"

Luckily for the viewer, there are a couple of bits that serve as relief from the hideous tedium. "The Fish Report With A Beat" is so creatively juvenile that you can't help but be amused by it, while the film that is shown during "Four Minutes" has some seriously cool eye candy happening. Was this the same footage screened during Waters' concert tour? If so, then it must have been a truly mind-blowing finale indeed. The same goes for the some of the footage used during the otherwise mawkish finale "The Tide Is Turning").

As with the album for which this was intended to promote, it appears that the videos on the 'Radio KAOS' EP are products of someone else telling Waters what would be contemporary and cool rather than what would actually still be interesting in five years time. Ah, but fear not, Waters fans -- as disappointing as Waters' first officially released solo video turned out, the worst was yet to come ...

'Radio Waves'	'The Fish Report With a Beat'
'Four Minutes'	'The Tide is Turning (After Live Aid)'